I really have been off lately. Not just “off” as in off from work or away.  But “off” as in out of sync, feelings of angst, generally disgruntled, and a pervasive sense of agitation. When I experience times like this — and I have before, probably will again, and I would think others have as well –I fall back on an old tool I have used in counseling and times of personal reflection.  I call it “ask and answer.”  It is simply asking yourself the question and listening for the answer that bubbles up from within.  I often shared with counselees that no one knows our answers better than we ourselves. In times of self reflection, inspection, and questioning our best guess is usually our best answer.

So, I asked and listened for my answer!  What I heard, felt, sensed –no, I am not experiencing auditory hallucinations – was “Too busy! Too much time doing things for others – people, organizations, agencies – and not enough quiet time working on and doing the things you want/need to do.”  Yep, probably right on!  Plus, the weather has been a bummer.  Spring weather is way overdue here in East Texas.  Where is the sun??

Well, “Here Comes The Sun!” Yes, it was sunny a couple of days ago – not warm, but sunny – and I spent most of the day outside doing yardwork. Yardwork is good therapy – at least it is for me.  I immerse myself in the work, mundane as it is, and feel relaxed, serene, and peaceful. In experiences such as this I am reminded of Brother Lawrence’s The Practice of the Presence of God.  Many years ago as I first read this little book, I was taken aback by the idea that “the most excellent method he had found of going to God was in doing our common business without any view of pleasing man, and (as far as we are capable) purely for the love of God.”  As I continue on this pilgrimage, I find that practicing the presence of God, in those times that I am going about the ordinary, the mundane, “our common business” are the best times.

Thankfully, I am feeling a bit more in sync and less disgruntled and agitated.  As I continue my pilgrimage I will, once again, strive to be more aware of God’s presence in all that I do for others, organizations, agencies, as well as those things I do for myself while keeping a reasonable balance among all this “common business.”   And, as Spring is certain to arrive, late though it is, I will be able to say and sing “Here Comes the Sun!”